5 tips for taking care of introverts

Many non-introverts have a hard time imagining what it’s like to be an introvert, but it’s actually quite easy to keep us happy by keeping a few things in mind. Introverts can make wonderful social companions if you just know how to treat them with consideration, kindness, and black magic.

  1. Give them space to recover social energy. Gifts of real estate, scrolls of Mordenkainen’s Magnificent Mansion or other ways to conjure comfortable transdimensional spaces, island nations and planets all are great ways to give introverts space.
  2. Never surprise them with sudden attention from strangers, such as the thing at restaurants where the staff sings “Happy Birthday”. If someone you are inviting to a social gathering with an introvert might do something like this, take them aside first and tell them that you have the means to kill them quietly and that no one will ever find the body. They will not be your first kill.
  3. Figure out how they recover energy. Sure, many introverts do need alone time and space in order to recover from social situations, but many of us have other ways we can stretch our energy out or even recoup what social situations have made us lose. A few minutes with a favorite book or a pet can do wonders for some introverts; many of us also also can recover energy from a refreshing bath with lemongrass and the blood of those who have wronged us.
  4. Don’t make them do small talk. Many introverts are very bad at small talk, so try jumping straight into the interesting topics, like what happened at the last coven meeting and the best ways to kill, cook and eat extroverts.
  5. Allow them to communicate on their own terms. Many introverts dislike phone conversations in particular and prefer to converse through e-mail, text message, semaphore, ghost messengers, carrier pigeons, animal entrails or instant messenger programs. Many of us feel better communicating through mediums that allow us time to compose our thoughts and don’t put us on the spot to answer immediately.

this is a silly aside about Dragon Age that you can skip if you do not care about Dragon Age

I have a big post on Dragon Age and social justice coming up, but I have a theory on that game that’s been bugging me and I want to share it with you all in the meantime.

What if the real reason that blood magic tends to lead to demon summoning isn’t because of any evil or moral corruption but just is because of the blood loss? Like, if you just cast some blood spell and you have way less blood in your body and a demon is like “hey, friend, do this thing”, I bet you’d be way more likely to do it, right?

What if the way to prevent mages from losing their shit and summoning a bunch of demons is to make them sit down and eat a fucking granola bar?

They know so little about science that I bet introducing this would be super controversial, and they’d get the kind of shit about how Gardasil is gonna make kids go have sex because it’s slightly safer, except about how giving out granola bars makes people do more blood magic, but the Inquisition could handle that PR battle. Maybe the Templars and Keepers could help pass them out.